Moments

It was​ ​a feeling I have ​not had in a long time. I’ve had moments like this before, but there was something different about it this time.

How did this happen so fast? Why is this moisture welling up in my eyes? I turned to look at Kim and sure enough, the tears were streaming.

You see, we were watching our last child, our little baby girl, Annabelle, as we’ve affectionally called her over the years, proudly walking across a makeshift concert stage in the end zone of Mount Tahoma High School football field. She was receiving her high school diploma ​from Stadium High School.

It seems like yesterday when Kim walked into my office at church saying...."you just won't believe this..." as she held a pregnancy test in her hand. Our fourth child was being formed and in so many ways, it seems like yesterday and now this sweet little blessing is grown and beginning her new life.

And just like that, it hit me. Where did those 18 years go? She’s not our little baby girl anymore. She’s not that girl that I used to sneak swigs of Dr. Pepper to before she could walk or who stood on my hand as I lifted her above my head. She’s not that girl I used to carry around on my shoulders or who would excitedly invite me to her little tea parties. She’s not that girl who was always singing songs as she played wherever she went, who asked endless questions ​about life and God, repeatedly said “do it again, Daddy” when she liked some goofy thing I did, who helped Kim cook and serve food, who asked me to give her a back rub, who jumped into my arms from 8 steps up the stairway, would make us attend her classes as she pretended to be a school teacher, ignored me when I embarrassed her in front of her friends, and cheered for games in middle school and high school.

But all of the sudden, I can feel this separation beginning to take place. She’s this young, beautiful, spunky, compassionate, kind-hearted, Christ-loving, young adult ready to leave Mom and Dad and head off to college (Grand Canyon University) and continue preparing for the adult years of her life.

Did we do enough to prepare her? How will she do? What friends will she make? What joys and sorrows will she experience? What challenges will she face? How will her faith be stretched and mature? Will she meet her future husband? What ministry will she find and serve in? So many questions running through my mind.

But I’m not worried because I know she’s in the Lord’s hands. Even knowing (like so many others her age) that she will face an increasingly scary, messed-up world that desperately needs Jesus. How will she manage all this without us?

Kim and I are so very proud. We can’t wait to see what the Lord will do in and through her life. But this moment feels so different, so odd, so strange.

But I’m excited. Annie’s ready to step out and see how the Lord will shape her life and use her sweet and genuine heart for ministry.

I’ll guess we’ll cherish this unique moment like other moments knowing the Lord is faithful, and He will be working out His perfect and unique plan.

Charles Thomas Studd (a British missionary to China) penned this famous poem that I hope will stick in Annie’s heart as the only worthy way to use the life God has gifted her and all of us:

Two little lines I heard one day, traveling along life’s busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart, and from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, ‘twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, the still small voice, gently pleads for a better choice.
Bidding me selfish aims to leave, and to God’s holy will to cleave;
Only one life, ‘twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, a few brief years, each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;
Each with its days I must fulfill, living for self or in His will.
Only one life, ‘twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.

When this bright world would tempt me sore, when Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way, then help me Lord with joy to say:
Only one life, ‘twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.

Give me Father, a purpose deep, in joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e’er the strife, pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, ‘twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Oh let my love with fervor burn, and from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone, bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, ‘twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, now let me say, “Thy will be done”;
And when at last I’ll hear the call, I know I’ll say “twas worth it all”;
Only one life, ‘twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.

Pastor Jeff (a reflective dad)