Sisterhood: Answers for Times of Lonliness
When I came to Christ’s Church, I was lonely. I had been married for 39 years. We had three wonderful children married to great spouses the joy of being grandparents to five crazy active grandkids, BUT my mind was far, far away. I looked good on the outside, but I was lonely.
If you haven’t dealt with loneliness in your lifetime, there is a very good chance you will.
Causes of Loneliness
No Relationship with God
You may think you don’t know anyone at Christ’s Church who is not a Christian. Most likely, there are unbelievers inside the church. She might be someone dealing with loneliness.Loss of Relationships
Someone moves away from you or you move away from friends and family. We live in a world where relationships are constantly changing.Willing to be God’s Vessel at Any Cost
Gossip, rejection, uncompromising critical attitudes, or personal attacks because of speaking biblical truth can produce loneliness.Anxiety, Fear, and Worry
These feelings and thoughts can prevent a woman from being willing to reach out to make changes. She remains stuck in her loneliness.Sleepless Nights
You try to sleep and sleep is evasive.Grief
The loss of a beloved spouse, child, or someone else you loved can bring about the dark intruder of loneliness.Not Fitting In
Neurological or physical deformities and disabilities bring isolation. The chronic pain that nobody sees is lonely.Unfulfilled Marriages
A raging husband or the silent one who spends night after night in front of the TV results in far too many evenings of painful loneliness.Singleness
As friends are engaged and planning weddings, singleness can be lonely. Widows and women going through a divorce may experience lonely times.
Jesus Was Lonely
Is it possible Jesus knew loneliness? In the Garden of Gethsemane, a view of Jesus’ humanity is unveiled as He prays, “Father if you are willing, take this cup from Me, yet not My will, but Yours be done” (Lk. 22:42). Jesus is in agonizing loneliness. Jesus found His innermost circle asleep. It wouldn’t be long before the disciples deserted Him.
The relationship between Jesus and His Father is recorded multiple times in the book of John. Jesus’ greatest time of loneliness was as He hung on the cross, gasping for every breath, He declares, “Father, why have you forsaken Me?” Was Jesus lonely? Yes, His loneliness was like nothing we can grapple with our finite minds.
Benefits of Loneliness
Because of Christ’s payment for our sins, we have a relationship with Christ, but we will sometimes find ourselves in a season of loneliness. Can anything good come out of being lonely?
The first benefit is greater times of prayer. Psalm 62:8 says, “Trust in Him at all times, O people pour out your heart before Him; God is our refuge for us.” David knew that his only hope was in God. Call out to God in prayer.
Loneliness pushes us into God’s Word. Loneliness can cause women to reevaluate their lives and make changes according to what God says in Scripture.
It causes a woman to have greater compassion for others.
The last benefit is heaven. A heavenward perspective is a good thing to have.
Ways to Deal with Loneliness
Here are some ways that I’ve worked through loneliness. Maybe they will be helpful for you to consider.
Stop Second-Guessing Thoughts
Since coming to Christ’s Church, too many times I second guessed myself: “Did I tell her that I am sorry for interrupting when someone was talking? She didn’t smile at me; maybe it’s because of something I wore.” I found it helpful to correct my thoughts by posting Scripture verses in the car, on the refrigerator, above the kitchen sink, or on the bathroom mirror, etc. I needed to keep the Word of God in the forefront of my mind.Live a Thankful Life
A couple of days before I left my old church, I started making a list of the ways that I was thankful for the people or events. I wrote the list in my cell phone. Soon after coming to Christ’s Church, I started doing the same thing. Anything and everything that came to my mind were written.Take Risks
Bob and I started attending a Sunday school class. One Sunday, I asked a woman about Flourish Groups. A woman did more than answer my question. The next few Sundays, I was more interested in talking to her than taking the class. My heart was beginning to ache for sisterhood.Get Involved
Choose to become involved in a ministry opportunity or participate in a women’s event.
Make one choice and follow through. My husband Bob saw a Men’s Bible Study on Monday nights. I didn’t want to stay home alone, so I made myself go to the Women’s Bible Study. Maybe that doesn’t sound like a good motivation, but it was God’s gracious love and prompting. It was a small class which is just what I needed. It was my introduction to a group of ladies who took me under their wing.Do Self-Examination
Look for other issues that can accompany loneliness: depression, guilt, self-pity, doubt, anxiety, and anger. Anger is interesting because someone can be angry at their own situation of loneliness which can make them even lonelier.Be Friendly
The opposite of being lonely is being friendly. Being committed to a friendship shows love. Text messages with those heart signs are a great blessing of love. Get involved in ministry together. Friendships grow in side by side ministry. Find a ministry that you and a friend could do together. Meet with each other. Making new friends intentionally takes time.
Work in Progress
I’m still learning lessons of loneliness.
It’s okay to not always fit in at church. Even though it looks like I have found my stride, there are times I feel lonely. Women may share inside jokes and stories from their years of history together. I’m learning to be okay with it!
Twinges of loneliness are a reminder that Jesus Christ knows how I feel. It keeps me close to Him which is a very good place to be.
What About You?
What are some ways that you have reached out to someone? Think about yourself in times of loneliness. What do you wish someone had done for you? Leave us some comments with your thoughts.